Thursday, July 12, 2012

Perfect Presents! (For people you hate..)

I don't even like buying presents for people I like. Not because I'm cheap ass. Because I usually end up buying something crap, something very clichéd or doing the honourable thing and getting them vouchers. But buying presents for people that you don't actually like? Well it's so much more fun then it at first seems. Get creative and let your annoyed, over-worked juices flow. 
Here's some inspiration:



1. Unwanted magazine subscriptions 
Has your anti-war, "save the children" neighbour rallied the 'peace troops' in his garden again? Has he being pushing you to 'join the cause'? Has he used the terms 'flower power' one too many times? He's gonna just love his new subscription to American Hand-gunner Magazine (America's most popular gun magazine, don't ya know).


2. Noisy toys
Does someone in your life have a spoilt and obnoxious loud child? Well then, gift them with the loudest, most annoying toy that you can find in the toy shop. Usually, anything colourful and within the nickelodeon franchise does the trick. Think a Dora the Explorer doll. A singing Dora the Explorer. And hey, while you're being so generous, why not provide a years supply of batteries alongside the toy. Aren't you the generous one?
- Also consider: Toys that take ages to put together or a sing-a-long Barney DVD.



3. Candy underwear
Of course, we are entitled to our own opinions and freedom of choice but if that special conservative friend in your life has pushed your buttons by condemning the scientific basis of evolution (LOL), ranted about the 'sanctity of marriage', complained about abortion while pushing for death penalties then maybe you should consider the tasty, classy candy underwear. Maybe.. just maybe.. a bit of (sugar and) spice in the bedroom will allow him/her to let of some steam and give him/her less to bitch about.

4. Pro-Fur coalition membership
I am a vegetarian. However, most of my friends are not vegetarians. And I accept that. Why wouldn't I?  People should be able to enjoy their food and their chosen lifestyle without some nutcase force feeding them nonsense propaganda. So for that special peson in YOUR life, who frowns at you everytime you take a bite of that delicious burger and spends the weekend protesting in a cage to highlight the plight of chickens, consider gifting them with a fur-coalition membership. If no such coalition exists in your area, simply buy them the real thing. Or a years supply of meat. There are different ways that you can go with this, allow your creativity to flow.

5. 'Easy livin', Microwave Cooking' book
As a blogger, I am aware that there are many, many different food and cooking blogs out there with weird and wonderful, creative and mouthwatering recipes. And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this alone, I have used many a recipe that I have found various blogs. But, if these foodies are going too far in your life, be it foodie mommies that shame your version of school lunches or an in-law who snubs any of your attempts to speak fondly of comfort food, then the simplicity of 'Easy livin' Microwave Cooking' book is sure to reduce them to tears (and not of joy..).




If anyone can think of some more great gifts to get for people you don't actually like, share them in the comments won't you please?

1 comment:

  1. heeey, i think the idea of noisy toys is the best in the world! lol, i'm going to do it in christmas c: you're a evil mind lol, love it :3 Xx

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