Monday, March 5, 2012

Socializing for dummies 101: Parties

This post (or series of posts in socializing; I haven't decided how active I will be in my efforts) is dedicated to my partner in crime, Kyle.
He's decided to 'give people a chance'; he's socializing more and actively trying to increase his standing in certain social groups and of course this will all help his efforts to turn his life around.
I know.
I don't understand it either.

I do want to help him though (yes, I know I'm an enabler), so I have kicked this guide off with a guide to parties.

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Some of the fun people you will meet at parties.

I can't help you understand the logic behind why people chose to have parties.. but I can make the whole experience a hell of a lot less gut retching.
So dear readers, fear not.
If you are in the process of organizing a social event and you don't know where to start; simply follow my invitation template.

Beginning:
Your presence will be tolerated at..
You are reluctantly invited to..
You are un-cordially invited to..
Sick of your own company? Why not drag yourself to..
Why don't you drag your arse to..

Suggested themes
..an all ages strip poker night
..a low calorie dinner party
..an unsocial social gathering of sorts
..a post modern Anne Summers sales pitch
..not a scam-tastic timeshare pitch.. I swear!

Reel them in with the details
- Limited selection of crisps and dip will be provided
- Proof of intelligence required for entry
- Processed cheese and dry pineapple will be served
- Bring your own toilet paper
- Bring your own arsenic
- Bring up religion, conspiracy theories, politics

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For those of you brave enough to drag yourself to someone else's crappy attempt to have a party, I only have one vital tip for you;
1. Upon entering the venue note all the exit points. This is crucial if you decide to make a fleeing attempt later on.

If anyone else has any contributions/tips ect, please leave them in the comments.
And if anyone would like to read about Kyle and his efforts to socialize featuring other shenanigans, visit him here.

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